Typically, I'm not about doom and gloom. I'm about cute clothing, accessories and fun parties for the kiddies. However, our family dog was diagnosed with Lymphoma last summer and after a rough road of chemo she has lost her battle. This will be the first pet loss for our family with small children.
In the beginning of her sickness, I asked myself. Are my kids too young to understand? Should I tell them we sent M dog out to a farm in Iowa or should I be totally honest and let them feel all of the emotions of the intense loss. It didn't take long to make that decision, I opted for honesty. We explained that our dog was very sick and it was quite likely that we would lose her soon and that we needed to love and cuddle her as much as we could in the next couple months. My son at the ripe age of five years old seemed to get it immediately when she was first diagnosed. His first comment was that he didn't want M dog to go to heaven without us. Which naturally broke my heart. My best response to this is that M Dog will be waiting for us at the pearly gates. Later that evening my almost 4 year old daughter sat down next to our dog, petting her, kissing her, telling her how much she loved her. I looked at my sweet daughter with her little face covered in tears. I asked her if she was ok, and then here it comes...hysterical sobs with the words "I don't want her to die". Ugh...did I make the right decision bringing awareness to the situation? It's tough to lose a pet as an adult but to think what a profound affect it would leave on my children is down right heart wrenching.
This week we decided to end the suffering and let our sweet labrador go. As we were driving to the Vets office, thoughts began to race through my mind about her fierce protectiveness of our family. She had proven over and over again who came first.
Suddenly a wave of memories came back......
The countless times my kids were not feeling well so she slept right at the foot of their bed or the day that I found out my dad had cancer and she sat next to me the entire day while I absorbed this unsettling news. I didn't need to show her a public display...she just knew. Having her be present was such a comfort to me, more than any other person in my life could have offered at that time.
The times she accompanied my husband to the Lanikai bunkers when no one else in the family would. Watching her do figure 8's between my husband and myself during our many walks on the beach and when she wasn't doing that, she made sure she was right between us.
When a stranger would approach us and the kids her ridge would go up instantly letting them know she was a threat (this was both good and bad). The flood of memories was overwhelming, making me realize what a phenomenal dog she has been. The reactions of the finality were far different from what we saw in the diagnoses. As a parent, I don't know what was worse: the hysterics from my daughter or the fact that my son was doing everything in his power to fight back tears and disassociate from the issue. I've learned that there is no "normal" when it comes to the grieving process. Sure there are stages but the length and itensity we experience each stage varies dramatically for all of us. No matter how the process plays out the end result is that this is a tremendous loss to all of us and it has been a valuable lesson in parenting for me. Not a lesson I wanted to go through but eventually we all realize that death is a part of life.
I've considered sheltering my kids (and myself) from ever having to go through this pain again. But I realized it's invaluable. They now know what a treasure it is to have a pet to care so much about. I was willing to close the door on the mere fact I will most likely outlive all of my pets. It's unfair never to give an animal this chance because you don't want to suffer the heartbreak. They give so much and are worth so much more. I feel this is something my kids have learned from as well. We will love another.
No matter how much hair I complain about sweeping or how much poop I end up scooping. All of those irritations go away at the thought of the remarkable love, affection and undying loyalty she has shown this family. We have been completely blessed to have this wonderful four legged creature in our lives for the last nine years. Her loss has left a gaping hole in this family...no doubt. R.I.P. sweet girl.
http://vetmedicine.about.com/od/lossandgrief/a/PetLossAndKids.htm
Rainbow Bridge
In the beginning of her sickness, I asked myself. Are my kids too young to understand? Should I tell them we sent M dog out to a farm in Iowa or should I be totally honest and let them feel all of the emotions of the intense loss. It didn't take long to make that decision, I opted for honesty. We explained that our dog was very sick and it was quite likely that we would lose her soon and that we needed to love and cuddle her as much as we could in the next couple months. My son at the ripe age of five years old seemed to get it immediately when she was first diagnosed. His first comment was that he didn't want M dog to go to heaven without us. Which naturally broke my heart. My best response to this is that M Dog will be waiting for us at the pearly gates. Later that evening my almost 4 year old daughter sat down next to our dog, petting her, kissing her, telling her how much she loved her. I looked at my sweet daughter with her little face covered in tears. I asked her if she was ok, and then here it comes...hysterical sobs with the words "I don't want her to die". Ugh...did I make the right decision bringing awareness to the situation? It's tough to lose a pet as an adult but to think what a profound affect it would leave on my children is down right heart wrenching.
This week we decided to end the suffering and let our sweet labrador go. As we were driving to the Vets office, thoughts began to race through my mind about her fierce protectiveness of our family. She had proven over and over again who came first.
Suddenly a wave of memories came back......
The countless times my kids were not feeling well so she slept right at the foot of their bed or the day that I found out my dad had cancer and she sat next to me the entire day while I absorbed this unsettling news. I didn't need to show her a public display...she just knew. Having her be present was such a comfort to me, more than any other person in my life could have offered at that time.
The times she accompanied my husband to the Lanikai bunkers when no one else in the family would. Watching her do figure 8's between my husband and myself during our many walks on the beach and when she wasn't doing that, she made sure she was right between us.
When a stranger would approach us and the kids her ridge would go up instantly letting them know she was a threat (this was both good and bad). The flood of memories was overwhelming, making me realize what a phenomenal dog she has been. The reactions of the finality were far different from what we saw in the diagnoses. As a parent, I don't know what was worse: the hysterics from my daughter or the fact that my son was doing everything in his power to fight back tears and disassociate from the issue. I've learned that there is no "normal" when it comes to the grieving process. Sure there are stages but the length and itensity we experience each stage varies dramatically for all of us. No matter how the process plays out the end result is that this is a tremendous loss to all of us and it has been a valuable lesson in parenting for me. Not a lesson I wanted to go through but eventually we all realize that death is a part of life.
I've considered sheltering my kids (and myself) from ever having to go through this pain again. But I realized it's invaluable. They now know what a treasure it is to have a pet to care so much about. I was willing to close the door on the mere fact I will most likely outlive all of my pets. It's unfair never to give an animal this chance because you don't want to suffer the heartbreak. They give so much and are worth so much more. I feel this is something my kids have learned from as well. We will love another.
No matter how much hair I complain about sweeping or how much poop I end up scooping. All of those irritations go away at the thought of the remarkable love, affection and undying loyalty she has shown this family. We have been completely blessed to have this wonderful four legged creature in our lives for the last nine years. Her loss has left a gaping hole in this family...no doubt. R.I.P. sweet girl.
We'll never forget you.
http://vetmedicine.about.com/od/lossandgrief/a/PetLossAndKids.htm
Rainbow Bridge
i'm so sorry for you loss. i know how much we love our pets. we just got a puppy after 9 years with out a pet because i wasn't over my previous babies. i hope your memories never leave you. take care.
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry:(( I couldn't help to think of our dog when I was reading this. we have a 6 year old yellow lab and I know she won't be around forever.
ReplyDelete@Tammy @ Type A
ReplyDeleteThanks so much. I know exactly what you mean. It will take a while for us to make that decision to get another puppy as well. Thanks again for your kind words:)
@Jessica @ TheCrazyChaoticHouse
ReplyDeleteThanks so much. I know, it's so sad their life expectancy isn't a little longer. :( You have lots of good years left. If I remember right my lab was just getting out of the puppy stage at 6...lol. Thanks again for your kind thoughts.